Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!

Yo mama so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!

Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb.

Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed.

Yo mama so short she models for trophys.

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A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”
“You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist.
“That’s it, I can never remember that word.”

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If a train station is where the train stops and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?

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If a train station is where the train stops and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?

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Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting “F1 F1″ and nobody understood it.

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The most important thing in the programming language is the name. A language will not succeed without a good name. I have recently invented a very good name and now I am looking for a suitable language.

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Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?
Because it is below C level.

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To give you an idea how bad they were, eight pages of the transcript consisted of the prosecutor’s heavy breathing.

These non-smoking laws are getting a little out of hand. Now whenever I try to enter a non-smoking area I get frisked for matches and cigarettes.

Talk about an identity crisis. Rosie O’Donnell traced her roots and discovered all her ancestors were heterosexual!

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A1 and A2: Please investigate cause of suspicious Lawrence Welk music.

40-40-212: Mariah Carey goes jogging and the friction raises the silicone implants to boiling point.

10-69: Paris Hilton committing a sexual offense.

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7-11: Taking a break for warm coffee, stale doughnuts and a sandwich.

I’m not too sure about the accountant I hired to do my taxes. After he finished filling out my tax return, he wiped his fingerprints off the pen.

Seems Donald Trump’s celebrity isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. When asked how the world was treating him, the Donald said “It isn’t. I got to pay for everything.”
LITTLE KNOWN POLICE CALLS:

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